Monday, October 01, 2018

Why I'm Not Slimming Down

In order to get to the coffee in our office, which is in our kitchen, one must walk through the lunch room.  The lunch room has a table and chairs where people who are lunching-in are supposed to sit.

But the real function of that table is for employees to dump edible things from their home kitchens and other places, mainly sweets that they want to get out of their reach and into our reach.  Once we had a rule that one had to put that kind of stuff in the fridge and then send an email, giving us all a warning.  But that rule lasted about 25 minutes.

Mondays are a particularly heavy day for depositing irresistible things on the lunch room table.  Today is no exception.

One of our folks attended "Dessert Festival Miami," which occurred in Wynwood over the weekend.  That event featured something called "Dessert Wars."  At this nasty confrontation, Miami's best dessert chefs battle it out with show-off pastries. The collateral damage must be immense, because, with a ticket, you may help yourself.  So, one of us went.  And this morning we were blessed with two boxes of little sample desserts, offered right there on the lunch-room table, by which every caffeine-addicted person who works here walks on the way to their fix.

We need to fire someone.  But how do you do that when your mouth is full, crumbs dropping down your chin, and one of your feet is just barely in heaven for a very brief moment?

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