Conventions are helpful

Dear Designer of Nautica's Men's Underwear,

I sympathize with you, sir/madame. Designing men's underwear is well below your station. You were trained at the finest textile design schools, probably did a tour in Paris and Milan, and now, of all the indignities, you're designing men's underwear, a far cry from the haute coture of those runways.

I'm sure you thought that you were adding some needed "flair" when you did it. Or maybe you were fighting against the machine when you made this choice. Heck, when I first opened the package, I thought it was a really cool, convention breaking thing you were doing. So radical a choice, I'm surprised you were able to get it to go all the way through production. And, at first, owning a couple of these that you designed made me feel a bit more "in", as if I was part of your bold take-that-mens-underwear-design-industry gesture.

But, look, I'm a workaday kind of guy, often getting up earlier than I wish to attend to my kiddos' needs. I get dressed in the semi-dark, before I even have my first sniff of the aroma of coffee. In my semi-lucid state, I need a few cues to make sure that everything turns out just right when I dress.

I realize, now, that the wisdom of the ages is just that: wisdom. "But that's what everyone does!" you cry. Yes, but they do it because it's the best thing to do.

Next design round, please: go back to putting the label on the back of the underwear. Not the front. Labels go in the back. Thanks. I have enough things to think about during the day and prefer to not have this thought interrupt them: "Wait. Did I put my underwear on backwards again today? Arrrrrgh!"