Dog Wags Tail or Yuppies Uber Alles. The WSJ reports that Proctor & Gamble is coming out with a coffee that is "both gentle on stomachs and packs the same taste and caffeine punch as its regular brew." If you know a Yuppie coffee-drinker, then maybe you have heard the complaint that coffee upsets the stomach.

But Yuppies are tough. "Consumers told us 'If I have to choose between taste and discomfort, I'll power through the pain'," a P&G spokesman reports. Yeah, Man.

I'm not sure I like this quote, however: "The key is to accentuate the positive in lives at that age". And what "age" is that, you twerp?