Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Israel

A Jewish friend sent this to me. It makes me want to go to Israel.

Israel is a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you
the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help
if you look like you need it.

Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi
drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.Israel is the only country in
the world where no one cares what rules say when an important goal
can be achieved by bending them.

Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed
around and commanded by officers, male and female, younger than their
own children.

Israel is the only country in the world where "small talk" consists
of loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already
so good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local
market.Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat
three sets of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which
is not really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main
course in a meal, rather than something one tosses into a martini.

Israel is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to be
able to dig a cellar without hitting ancient archeological artifacts.

Israel is the only country in the world where the leading writers in
the country take buses.

Israel is the only country in the world where the "black folks"
walking around all wear yarmulkes.

Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book
Week, during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews
beat up the police and not the other way around.

Israel is the only country in the world where inviting someone "out
for a drink" means drinking cola, coffee or tea.

Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the
mezuzah as they leave with their loot.

Israel is one of the few countries in the world that truly likes and
admires the United States .

Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications
of high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that
print out your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States
and decades ahead of Europe .

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight
gets to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they
also get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.

Israel is the only country in the world where no one has a foreign
accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty
words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting
physicians end up giving the doctor advice.

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up
conversations while waiting in lines.Israel is the only country in
the world where people call an attache case a "James Bond" and the
"@" sign is called a "strudel".

Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most
mysterious and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur,
which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it.

Where people read English, write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish

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